Times Have Changed...Unfortunately

If you are a loyal reader, you know that my 9-year-old plays little league football.  We love football in this home - everything about it.  Unfortunately after last night's practice my husband (a.k.a. Coach Bobby) came home completely rattled and sharing his frustration.  He said things that began with "When I was a kid..." and "When my dad was coaching..." He was talking tough.  He mentioned that he would like to keep those boys outside until midnight or later if it took that to get a certain play right.  I said "well, do it!"  Yeah, right... Coach Bobby then said the following phrase

Times. Have. Changed. 

I rolled those words around in my mind.  I internally argued with them, shredded them to bits.  But I kept coming up short on rebuttal.  Times have changed.  And that is not okay with me.  Later last night Bobby sent out an email to our team which went a little something like this:

Some of you may have noticed the practice tonight was far less than great...heart and desire must come from within...it is not taught...lack of focus and desire by that player not wanting to do his job...some players are starting to lose their positions...game plan for Thursday night...will take all of us doing our jobs in order to pull off the upset.

Somewhere along the way, we have taught today's children that sports are just for fun.  In doing so, we have also have greatly misused the "it's just a game" sentiment.  What previously inspired contestants to shake off a loss and work harder for the next victory, now indicates that wins and losses don't matter at all.  And this is a problem in the long run.  This generation we are raising is in trouble!

You may have heard the quote pictured above.  It's pretty powerful when you think about it.  Uncoachable kids are those who do nothing for the greater good of the whole team.  They are the kids who think their actions are correct - regardless of reality.  These kids do not respond well to constructive criticism and they do not acknowledge the power of a mentor.  In Much Ado style, I want to take this one step further...

Kids who do not value winning and losing become adults who do not respond to success or failure.  You guys, it does matter if you win or lose just as much as it matters how you play the game.  If our kids fail to learn this now, imagine the adults they will become.

When you are ill and go see a doctor, does it matter whether he makes you well or not?  Of course it does.  How he treats you is important, but if he treats you with excellent bedside manner and you are still sick...you would think that doctor has failed.

Some of my blog readers are teachers.  When you are in front of your classroom, does it matter whether they are learning or not?  Absolutely.  It is very important that you treat your students with respect and that you mix in some classroom discipline.  But whether you are evaluated on your students' report cards or their standardize test scores, trust me...those figures matter.

Most sales-based jobs come with sales goals, performance quotas, and required reports.  Sure, it's nice if you enjoy your job.  It's great if you have camaraderie with your coworkers.  But come quota and report time none of that matters if your numbers don't align with expectations.

Bobby was right.  Times have changed.  The world is a much more dangerous place, due in part to an overly relaxed set of family values, morals, and Christianity.  We as a people are dangerously desensitized to sex, violence, and otherwise foul behavior in the media.  But if there is any hope for this to correct itself, this up and coming generation needs help.  And I believe organized sports -- when handled correctly as in "the good ol' days" -- is a great opportunity to reinstall these values.

What are your thoughts?  Does it matter whether you win or lose?  Do you think I am over analyzing this or is it possible that we can turn our kids into the adults we wish the world had more of?  Comments, please.

Thoughts on a Fine Friday Morning

I have seen the following stream-of-consciousness-inspired blog post in a couple of places, and I felt inspired.  I am not sure who originated the idea, so I'll simply say, this is a "borrowed" format.

Here's a glimpse into Mama Morris's life on this fine Friday Morning:

Needing to finish processing the recurring pile of laundry, mop the kitchen floor, and have newborn photos printed and framed.

Reading Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly.  I was supposed to be reading this with the Young Families Group at my church, but I have missed the past two meetings.  I hope to make it back next Wednesday night, because I am actually enjoying this book on many levels!  Inspiring...

Hoping the next 28 days pass quickly because I get to see Lorie and Shane again!  We are taking our annual pilgrimage to Baton Rouge again for the Bama-LSU game.  Two years ago when we played in Death Valley and lost, I swore I would never go back.  But although times change, old habits don't!  Psst! It's also going to be the first time I'll leave the baby overnight, so I'm still conflicted about this trip in my heart.  Nevertheless, we're going...

Watching this week's episodes of the Morris Family's can't-live-without shows: Grey's Anatomy, Castle, Private Practice, Parenthood, Dancing With The Stars and Glee. Thank goodness for DVR or I'd miss all prime time TV. Our evenings are definitely full of everything but TV!   (And by the way, what's up with The New Normal?  It thumbs its nose at all the political and socioeconomic stereotypes, yet I can't get enough.)

Sleeping whenever I can.  William is doing well most nights; we are usually down to one feeding a night around 2:00 AM.  But then there are nights like last night when he was up at 1 and again at 4.  Couple that with Caroline who all but refuses to sleep a full night and it makes for a sleepy mama!

Wearing crazy clothes right now!  My maternity pants are too big, but my pre-baby jeans are still just a little small.  What's a girl to do?  I have bought just a couple of one-size-bigger pants 'cuz naked is never an option.  But I refuse to settle.  I will get my body back eventually and the healthy way.

Feeling pain just by wiggling my toes.  I'm on Day 5 of Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred, and my legs pretty much feel shredded!  I love feeling sore, though, because I am reminded that I'm changing my body.

Spending time with Bobby and the kids as a family of 5 whenever we can (and that's not often right now).  We are so busy -- life is really hectic right now.  Bobby is out of the house 3 nights a week with his commitment to coach little-league football.  Rob and Caroline are so active and the baby is so needy that we really have to force ourselves to stop and come together.

Listening to Miranda Lambert's Four The Record.  I'm going to her concert on Saturday night and I need to brush up on the lyrics of her newest songs.  I'm notorious for not knowing the lyrics to songs I claim to love!

Enjoying these crisp fall mornings and wishing every. single. one could start with a pumpkin spice latte!

Dining out with Bobby soon--I hope.  He owes me an anniversary dinner!  We celebrated 9 years yesterday at a football field.

Dating my husband when I can.  We had a blast a few weekends ago when just the 2 of us picked up and headed to Tuscaloosa for a non-conference football game.  I love chances to reconnect with him.

Daydreaming about taking the kids to the Gaylord Opryland Hotel during this Christmas season.  I know Disney needs to wait a few more years, so now this has become my next-best-thing.  Are you hearing me, Bobby?

Wondering what the future holds...I have some pretty deep thoughts about my children, my marriage, life, religion, politics and the state of the nation.  Sometimes it is just nice to focus on mindless things like what I've discussed above.  But with faith and perseverance, the deeper subjects will work themselves out.  I have to believe that.

So long for now...

Happy 9th Anniversary to My Husband (and me)...A.K.A. "Then and Now"

Bobby and I are celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary today.  Later this month (on Halloween, to be exact) we will celebrate the 11th anniversary of being a couple.  I have known him for 12 years.  Do the math -- I fought fate for about a year before completely giving in to his charming ways.  So, in honor of the one I love, I decided to do a little "Then and Now" comparison of our life.

Then:  We used to lie awake all night long talking about mindless happy thoughts, smooching, and dreaming of the future.

Now: We lie awake all night long listening to Caroline talk in her sleep and for sleepwalker Rob to come downstairs, smooching on the sleepless infant, and daydreaming (night dreaming?) of a full 8-hours' rest someday in the future.

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Then: We couldn't keep our hands off of each other!  We were so affectionate and passionate in our love for one another.

Now: All that affection and passion has filled our house with three very blessed and busy children.  We are still affectionate and passionate towards each other, but even more so towards our own pillows when we crash into much-desired sleep!

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Then: We used to decide at the last minute if we wanted to vacation somewhere, go out to the nightlife, or stay in and adore each other quietly at home.

Now: We decide at the last minute if we can leave the house depending on if all our children are being babysat.  Nightlife?  See above.  But we adore this family and love our loving home.

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Then: If we heard of a great movie we would go see it at the theatre and enjoy popcorn and Reece's Pieces.

Now: Take children to the movie theatre?  Yeah, right.  Instead, we watch Scooby Doo and Dora The Explorer on DVD and sweep up popcorn kernels from under the sofa.

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Then: We had our favorite restaurants that we frequented.  Bobby would have a beer or two and I would enjoy a nice glass of wine.  We would share bites of each other's entrees and play guess-the-tab for fun.

Now: We have our standby, go-to recipes that ensure a nice dinner without whine.  We accept shared bites of our kids' food and play "Mad, Sad, Glad" to foster family discussion.

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Then:

Our engagement photo...

Doing the "threshold carry" the morning after our wedding...

Now:

Enjoying a rare, kid-free, dinner date (I was pregnant with William in this photo)...

Travelin' with the Tide...on our way to see BAMA play...

Sure, things have changed over the years, but I'd rather call them evolving.  It's been a great journey so far, but nine years is merely the beginning of our lifetime together.  I love you, Bobby!

I Love This Man...

...yep this one pictured below:

Eleven years ago when he and I began our courtship, it was the two of us versus the world.  We felt invincible.  Then came Rob, then Caroline, and now William.  We have gone from two to five in virtually no time!  Over the years we have faced our ups and downs, but I have learned that I truly love this man.  Wanna know why?  Well I would love to share three of the many reasons with you.

He is a man of his word -- he is loyal almost to a fault!  Don't get me wrong by this sentiment; I know I can count on him and trust him with my heart and my dreams.  Yet the "almost to a fault" attribute is because when he gives his word to anyone, he keeps his word no matter what.  If he volunteers to help someone, if he offers his assistance coaching a youth sports team, if he is called to use his brute strength to move a piano for the eighth time, he is going to show up and do just that.  There are times when selfish me wants Bobby all to myself.  But I know that to love Bobby is to love what he loves.  And he loves to be consistent and generous with others.

He is a man of faith -- Bobby is a believer in God.  Every night he quietly says his bedtime prayers.  Personally, my faith waivers.  I am a doubter and a worrier and a scared follower who is not often certain of the path ahead.  I don't know what conversations he and God have, but I do know that when my insecurities threaten the best of me, Bobby can not only calm me down and assuage my fears, he also does this by assuring me that if we pray through it, we will get through it.

He is the father of my three beautiful children -- People often joke that it must be impossible for me to have a child who looks like me.  Caroline comes close, but she still has plenty of Bobby's maternal family's looks about her.  Some of the qualities I love best about my children are derivatives of their father.  Rob has this dry humor and quick wit that seems well beyond his six years of age...all Bobby.  Caroline is determined, head strong, and (if raised right) will eventually be a confident, good natured example to others...all Bobby.  William seems to be a fighter and extremely resilient to presented obstacles...yep, all Bobby.  Because it takes both a Mommy and a Daddy to have a baby, I am so glad that my children are half him and only half me!

The summation of this post is this:  In the past two weeks life has been pretty rough for me both emotionally and physically.  First I was in the final days of my (likely final) pregnancy.  I was fatigued, swollen, and sore.  Ironically, I had this crazy worry in the back of my head that something would go terribly wrong.  Bobby was right there rubbing my feet, silencing my fears, and allowing me to sleep.  Now, he did record my pregnancy snores and poke fun at my huge belly, but I knew it was all in jest. 

Then came William in a nine-hour labor and delivery.  Bobby was right beside me the whole time fetching my ice chips and holding my hand.  Next came the health scare heard round the world.  I actually saw Bobby break down and weep for a moment.  He deserved that moment.  He later said that he had only just met William and he instantly knew a love he had never before felt.  Yet he also recognized my post-pregnancy hormones and maternal instincts were taking over my sense of reason so all of the qualities listed above were put to use. 

Bobby gave his word to many people that he would take care of us and he has not stopped yet -- even after we have brought our healthy baby home he has been keeping the dishes clean, allowing me time to nap, managing the behaviour of our two older kids, and praying incessantly that life will find its new "normal" soon.  Bobby's word, Bobby's faith, and Bobby's fathering skills have been put to the test over the past couple of weeks and he has aced every challenge put forth.  I never had any doubts of any other result.

Perfect...a.k.a. William's Birth Story

I am a planner...maybe not a great planner, but I still like to think I know how things will transpire.  In fact, sometimes it may be much more accurate to say that I am a dreamer and a wisher.  I am a future designer whose mock ups do not always come to fruition.

I am that person who up until Tuesday was pregnant with her third child.  I am that person whose OB is a highly skilled and well respected physician who offered her an induction date.  Perfect!  I was given the opportunity to plan when and how my son would enter the world.  Here were the details: oldest child will start Kindergarten uninterrupted then we will discreetly sneak away and birth the final branch of our 5-member family...older two siblings have matching Big Bro / Big Sis outfits which they will wear to the hospital on specified days...my OB (as opposed to another on-call doc) will be there to deliver my baby...a professional photographer will come up to the hospital to capture all of those beautiful once-in-a-lifetime moments...new pajamas...a baseball for baby's hand print via Pinterest inspiration...my dad even managed to be in town and was here to meet his namesake grandson.  And as of Tuesday morning, everything had fallen into place perfectly!

Slowly those plans began to crumble.  What was supposed to be a swift li'l induction quickly became anything but that.  First, my water wouldn't break because of my baby's too-high position, but it finally did break and labor officially began.  Then my contractions were crazy and felt nothing like they did with my previous two deliveries, but they finally were controlled with my epidural.  My OB had 2 mid-day surgeries, and I am thinking that he kind of expected to come out of surgery and find me almost complete and ready to push.  That would be, well, perfect timing for both he and I and for a number of reasons.  Unfortunately when he did come out of surgery at 1:30 PM (six-and-a-half hours after labor began) I was still only halfway to that magical ten-centimeter-dilation goal and it looked like the other half was still hours away.

At 3:45 PM I was still only seven centimeters and the baby was still extremely high.  We all started discussing a possible need for a c-section; however, my RN was not ready to give up on me yet.  She came up with the perfect solution by remembering a position for me to lay which was rumored to really speed up the dilation action.  Guess what?  It worked!  At 4:15 PM I was ready to push and so giddy!  I reminded my OB that I had not required an episiotomy (look it up here if you don't know what it is) with my first two deliveries and was really hoping that this would would be the same, although I trusted him to let me know if that would need to occur...to which he agreed, reassured me, and even joked "You like things perfect, huh?"  If I only knew how that seemingly innocent observation was about to implode all around me...

William Joseph Morris was born on Tuesday August 21st at 4:39 PM with 10 fingers, 10 toes, gray/blue skin and an umbilical cord tightly wound around his neck.  My professional photographer friend was supposed to shoot Bobby cutting the cord, but instead my OB had to quickly cut it from the back of his throat.  The photographer was supposed to shoot that moment when they put him on my chest and I burst into proud-mama tears but instead I barely saw him as they whisked him across the room and put an oxygen mask on his tiny face.  No one was saying anything.  I did hear tiny, muffled grunts coming from William which alleviated my very worst fears, but still I knew something was terribly wrong.  At some point shortly after this, my photographer left the room because obviously this was not a routine birth.  The OB was still there and he kept saying "William is okay," but we were not told what was not okay or why I still wasn't not holding my li'l blue baby.  I kept hearing the nurses reporting that it had been one minute, three minutes, fourteen minutes (since he was actually born).  I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I knew as the time increased, so did the alarm in their voices.  A tube was put in his throat to suction out mucus, he was popped on the bottom, beaten on the back, then wheeled away in an incubator to the NICU.  I never held him.  I barely even saw him.

As it turns out, William's heart rate sky rocketed to almost 300 beats per minute which was rendering his heart unable to circulate oxygenated blood properly to his body.  His first night offered many questions and no answers.  He was put on an antibiotic and a BETA blocker and I recovered from childbirth without my child.  That first night of his life all of my family and friends slowly trickled in and then out while we all waited for answers.

As of writing this today, still during William's first 24 hours of life, he has had a couple of EKG's and a cardiac ultrasound which has ruled out all major problems: no holes, no tears, all the requisite valves, chambers, veins, arteries, etc.  Right now his "episode" has been chalked up to some synapses misfiring due to childbirth stress.  He is maintaining a stable heart rate with the help of the BETA blocker.  But I will likely be sent home from the hospital without William, as they want to keep him at least a full 3 days for observation.  He has only been given fluids, so he also has to learn to start eating/drinking for nourishment.  Having a NICU baby was definitely not in my birth plan.

I want to share Bobby's (my husband's) Facebook status:

If you ever think you have problems or just need a little humble pie....walk through or past an NICU! Thank God my child is doing much better, but others in the unit not so well!! You think you have problems? I doubt it! Thanks for the prayer and send some the way of these other kids up here in this hospital!

William is obviously one of the healthiest babies in the NICU, but nevertheless he is there.  During an emotional breakdown this morning, I wondered aloud if God were showing me just how UNperfect His plan sometimes can be.  I know that no amount of planning can overrule what God has in mind for our lives. 

I want to thank everyone who already knows this story and has been praying for us for the last day and a half.  I want to thank God for the gift of my child, for the health care he and I have received, and for the seemingly healthy outcome William will eventually have. 

Please, everyone reading this, remind me sometimes that life does not seem perfect when compared to what we want out of life.  I need to just breathe, listen, and follow.  I look forward to some perfect beautiful newborn pictures of William and perfect beautiful family-of-five stories which I will share with you all on this blog.  But for now, I am still getting used to the fact that this birth is just not what I planned, but you know what?  It's still okay.

Mayhem, Madness, and Morris Baby #3...

So I may have mentioned a few times that Morris Baby #3 is on his way.  Like soon.  As in 6 weeks or less.  Needless to say, this momma of two (soon to be three) is starting to stress out.  It has been complete mayhem at Morris Manor lately.

For starters, we are tightly packed into a three-bedroom house.  We looked at moving, but we really want to stay in this area/school district, and there is really nothing that completely suits our needs right now.  We live a modest life; the only houses available in our area are either new construction in aggressively over-priced developments or older houses that offer nothing more than a new address.  So we took that as a sign that it's not the right time to move.  Hmm...what to do? 

We are about to start a reconstruction project on our house.  Watch the blog for some before-and-after shots soon, but in a nutshell I can tell you that our house came with a dining room randomly placed off the foyer and connected to nothing else.  Over the years we set it up for dining and used it 2x a year, maximum.  Then it evolved into a playroom that rarely, if ever, had room to walk around.  The kids are like tornadoes in there, I swear!  Did I mention it's in the foyer?  So every time someone visits, that Little Tykes / Fisher Price warehouse is the first thing seen.  Now we have decided to close it in and turn it into Caroline's bedroom, freeing her current bedroom / nursery up for Baby Will. 

As if that's not enough, we have decided that in order to keep our house market-current for the future when we do decide to sell, we need to replace our carpets in the bedrooms.  I met with a woman who measured and priced the job.  I am satisfied after shopping the big-box stores and another carpet warehouse that she'll offer the best price.  But she started going over a checklist of what to do before the installers come.  Have you ever replaced carpet in an established home?  You practically have to move out!  Let's not forget that I'm eight months pregnant, so I only have so much energy and strength left.  Yet I'm pretty Type-A when it comes to projects like this.  So now I'm morphing into the girl standing around bossing everyone else.

You would think that a sheet rocking/framing job and new carpet are enough to keep us busy; not so fast.  My dear, sweet husband (who cannot say "no" to anyone but me) has just been asked to help coach a little-league football team.  Practice starts Monday.  I'm leaving on Sunday to go out of town with my mom for three nights to help her work a book conference.  And construction starts Tuesday.  Fun times!  Stress free, for sure (yeah, right!)

Did I mention that with my first pregnancy I had severe hypertension and toxemia?  I am always worried my blood pressure will start shooting up.  I was okay while pregnant with Caroline, but I have enough tension in my veins right now to climb out of my skin!

For those of you reading (and you know who you are) close enough to help, please feel free to JSU -- just show up.  Over the course of the next 6 weeks there will always be something around here to be done. 

Buckle up, peeps...we're in for a bumpy landing!

Beachin' It, Baby!

Last week, the Morris family spent a week at the beach in NW Florida.  We stayed at SanDestin Beach and Golf Resort, which I learned is actually in Miramar Beach, FL, not Destin, FL. 

In what promised to be an unfortunate coincidence, Tropical Storm Debby was also headed to the NW Florida shoreline.  In fact, as we pulled out and started driving south, I was getting so worried about the weather I could hardly concentrate.  But within 48 hours, it was clear that Debby's course would change for our benefit.

Clockwise from top left: 1. Sunday afternoon just across the FL state line 2. crossing the Choctawhatchee Mid-Bay bridge 3. Waking up Monday morning to a promising sky 4. Dinner Monday night...the hint of a rainbow is a promise of better weather ahead!

The week started off with a little work business to attend.  Mom and I had to expo at a writing conference. My pregnant BF Lorie rode down with me.  Her husband helped the two of us get set up until Mom could join us from yet another conference that started off her week.  Here's how our 3 tables looked:

On Tuesday Bobby and the kids made it down.  By Tuesday night, we were a party of eight: Mom, Lorie, Shane and their daughter Whitney, Bobby, me, and our 2 kids. 

Although we were working, we had our afternoons free...and that led us to discover something we had never personally realized before: the beach in the afternoons is prime time for play.  Normally we head out all day then rush back to shower and get ready for evening activities.  But when you take away your timed schedules, there is a real opportunity for evening seashore enjoyment.  Don't believe me?  Take Caroline and Whitney's word for it:

Overall it was a great trip.  Our kids all played so well together.  In fact, I really don't believe a vacation of this nature would be possible if not for the seamless blending of families. 

Whitney and Rob, same age minus 3 months.

Friday was a beach-free day.  We spent the morning at the pool and that afternoon the mommies and Nona took the kids on a pirate ship while the Daddies played golf.  I will do a separate post about it later this week, but it was so much fun!  Like I said, that morning was just a pool day, and as an added bonus my dad, Papa Joe, came in town too! Dad's sister lives just a quick 20 minutes from where we were and Dad was off the road for a little break.  So it worked out that he got to see his sister and his daughter/grandkids all in one day.  Swimming with Papa Joe was fun!

The worst part about beach vacations is how quickly they seem to end.  Yet, as always, I know we will return soon.  Here are way too many a few shots from the week of fun:

Aren't naps on the beach the greatest?

Happy Fourth of July!  Today is one of those days where we are going to relax and enjoy the independence given to us by Independence Day!  I hope your day is just as good!

Happy Easter! (A Recap in Pictures)

We had a lovely Easter weekend!  On Saturday we went to lunch hosted by Jonathan and Laura in their new house!  Laura really went all out, too!  She was quite the happy, newlywed hostess!  We had a spiral ham, homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, macaroni and cheese, deviled eggs, green beans, and a terrific Easter chocolate cake made especially by you-know-who!  (That would be ME for those of you who lean towards the slow side.)

Think Rob loved my cake?

Saturday afternoon turned out to be a great, lazy afternoon at home with the kiddos.  Bobby went to the ballpark to coach, but when he got home we geared up for the next morning.

Sunday morning we woke up to find that the Easter Bunny had paid our house a visit!  The kids were super excited!  We went to early church which is a change for us.  We are usually an 11:00 AM service kind of family.  So hustling and bustling on Sunday morning took some getting used to.  But thanks to Bobby's steadfast ways, we were on time!

I was so excited to see on Twitter and other social media how many people were mentioning Christ's rising from the dead on Easter morning.  I really worry that today's society is doing everything in its power to shove Christianity into a closet or allow it to collect dust high upon a shelf.  Every single holiday has gone so commercial!  I have to admit that I lead a lot of commercialism in our home, too.  It is a struggle for me to raise good Christian children; I struggle with setting an example for them first and foremost.   But on Easter Sunday, I tried to mention Christ plenty of times more than eggs, bunnies, cake, etc.

After church we headed to my mom's for lunch.  Oh...my...goodness she made an Easter staple for us.  I was not raised on hams and gravies.  For every holiday we had some derivative of this:

 ...pictured above is the results of a two-day cooking event...homemade lasagna with secret family-recipe sauce and all the works! It's wonderful! We had a plethora of desserts to sample, then it was on to a very exciting egg hunt for the kids!

Well, it's time for a few "shots" and then we will call this day done!

I love this woman!

I love this man!

Me and my sister-from-another-mister!

This is real life on film...sometimes you just have to put the camera down!

Happy Easter, everyone!  This holiday is a wrap!