William Joseph is Three!

Weight: 31.6 pounds

Height: 36" (right at 3 feet)

You wear a size 2T pants, 3T shirt, and a size 9 shoe

Sleeping Patterns: You do take a nap everyday, but it only lasts about an hour and a half or so...You are in your toddler bed (crib with the mattress lowered all the way and front rails off).  Ever since we went to the beach this summer and you had no choice, you now sleep with us every night.  Sometimes we can get you to sleep in your room, but you will inevitably end up in our bed before dawn.

Eating Habits: You could survive every day of your life with a Pop-Tart.  Brown Sugar and Cinnamon flavor, to be exact.  But when I force you to eat something different, your breakfast favorites are waffles and pancakes, too.  You love spaghetti, chicken nuggets, and applesauce.  You love strawberries and grapes, but you are not very big on any vegetables at all.  So we are working on that. 

New Discoveries & Accomplishments: You are fearless.  This summer you swam non-stop (while wearing a puddle jumper.)  Your brother and sister were both terrified of the water at this age.  You love all sports.  Whatever is being played, you want to participate as well.  You are getting pretty good at recognizing your colors, but not so much your letters.  You can tee-tee and poopy in the potty, but you'd rather not.  You still prefer your diaper.  So we're going to work on that very soon.  This spring the Pappy (pacifier) Fairy came and took your pappies away.  The babies needed them.  (S)he picked them up out of our mailbox.  You were very tickled to see that the fairy left some grass leaves behind in the box.

Places You Love: When we go to the Galleria, you must ride the carousel, but you can never remember the word.  You always say something to the effect of "Are we gonna ride the, um, what's-it-called?"  You got to go to the beach twice this year and the pool several times.  It's safe to say you are a water-baby at heart.  You love going to the ballpark, and you are always game to go on an evening walk with the family.

Special Friends: You idolize your brother and sister - much to their chagrin sometimes.  You also love your cousins Mason and Josie Kate.  You have recently been babysat by Grace, Hannah, and Erin.  You are crazy about "the girls" which is what you use interchangeably to describe Grace and Sadie as well as Erin and Emily.  Also, you have this cute way of saying Milesh.  You get really excited to see him.

Current Events: It's almost football season again.  We are gearing up for some Helena Husky football and some Bama football.  Nationally we are getting ready for the next Presidential election.  The GOP race is wide open, but it looks like Donald Trump is the most likely nominee.  The weather here in Birmingham has been hot, muggy, and rainy.  So basically, just another Southern August.

What We Did This Day: Today is Friday.  We saw your brother and sister off to school.  Then we had a little bit of mommy-and-Will time at home watching your beloved Paw-Patrol.  Later we went to the Galleria so you could take a birthday spin on the carousel, followed by an evening of football.  We are planning to watch the first-ever Mayor's Cup Game, a.k.a. Helena vs. Pelham High School

Your birthday party was last Sunday at Nona's house.  It was a dump-truck-theme.  Post coming soon.

My Very Own Nightcrawler

Today has been a sleepy, rainy, back-to-school Monday in my world.  The kids were slow to wake up this morning and even slower to get moving.  After a week filled with warm, sunny days at the beach, and which culminated with a wonderfully busy Easter Sunday, we were desperate to get back into a routine - whether we realized it or not.

Speaking of being sleepy, I wanted to tell a few stories about my eldest child, Rob, on this blog. Partly because the stories are entertaining, but more than anything I want to be able to look back and remember these moments fondly.  For the past couple of years, Rob has been a fairly regular sleepwalker.  Sometimes it worries me and sometimes it creeps me out.  But usually it humors me!

KidsHealth.org says that sleepwalking in children is actually very common.  (My own pediatrician agrees and reassures me not to worry. ) The most common reasons for children's sleepwalking behaviors include the following: 

• lack of sleep or fatigue
• irregular sleep schedules
• illness or fever
• certain medications
• stress (sleepwalking is rarely caused by an underlying medical, emotional, or psychological problem)

I would like to believe Rob is not very stressed.  He also is not on any medications and is not ill.  But the first two factors?  Oh yes, you can check those right away.  

Below is a video I took of Rob about a year and half ago.  It shows Rob seemingly awake, but I assure you he is asleep.  The quality of the video isn't great, but in reality Rob has this glazed look in his eyes.  Also, Bobby and I always ask him some standard questions that he is never able to answer: "What is your daddy's name?", "What is your name?", "Where are you?", etc.  

Lately he often runs - literally runs - through the house while saying nothing.  He eventually will take himself back up to his room.  Sometimes he seems to be searching for something.  He'll come into my room and open up my closet doors, he'll turn the bathroom lights on and off, etc.  I always give him a minute or so to wander back up to his room before I go check.  I always find him sound asleep as if nothing ever happened.  

Well, last night was the mother of all sleepwalking nights.  There were two instances in one night!  First at around 11 PM I heard him tromping downstairs (he couldn't sneak up on ANYONE if stairs were ever involved).  Then he did a quick run through the hallway and soon hustled back upstairs.  Lest you think he slept the rest of the night, let me quickly fast forward to 1:00 AM.  I awoke to the sound of my shower running.  That's right, my shower!

I carefully entered the bathroom and gently asked Rob what he was doing.  I could tell by the look in his eyes he was still asleep.  I tried to talk him out of undressing, but he argued with me pretty angrily.  Here is where I remind you that I have seen one-too-many Lifetime movies about sleepwalkers who get violent.  The tiny creeped-out part of my brain activated, so I let him get in the shower.  I could hear him using the shampoo and rinsing body parts under the stream.  This was a legit shower.  However, at some point he must have really woken himself up, because as he was drying off I suggested he go back up stairs.  It was only then that he asked what time it was.

Me: Rob, it's one o'clock in the morning.
Rob: Then why did you wake me up and tell me to get in the shower?
Me: Rob, I didn't wake you up.
Rob: It's not time for the bus?!?
Me: Just let's go back to sleep, okay?

Much later this morning when I really did wake him up, and then stop him from taking shower #2, he first remembered nothing about the previous events.  Then as I retold the story he laughed a little and said, "Oh yeah, that was weird, huh?"

I don't know who originated this image of zombie-like sleepwalking pose, but I'm here to testify, that's not how it happens at our house.  Sometimes, even after all the episodes we've had, it still takes me a while to realize whether Rob is asleep or not. 

Luckily he has never ventured outside.  That doesn't seem to be his "nature".  I have also heard that sleepwalkers usually follow similar patterns each time.  However, this shower story really throws off that theory.  Therefore, next up should likely be high locks on the doors.

Until next time,

Spring Break 2015

Spring Break 2015 has come and gone, but it ended up being a wonderful week of fun in the sun!  Mom, the kids and I headed down to Gulf Shores for a few days, while poor Bobby stayed behind to work.  (Someone had to do it.)  We stayed in Laguna Bella townhomes where -- interesting fact -- my mom and stepdad used to be owners.  Sadly they sold our place shortly before Rob was born.  It's such a nice, quaint little area way down on west beach.  In the image below, you can see a huge eyesore condominium tower to the right that was built after Hurricane Ivan cleared some land in 2004.  Nevertheless, this area still qualifies as "low density".  It's right across the street from the beach, and backs up to the lagoon, complete with a fishing pier.  Heaven!

image source

We arrived late Sunday afternoon and, ironically enough, the sky looked a lot like the picture above.  It was cloudy, windy, and cool, but that did not deter us from getting straight into our swimsuits and heading to the sand.

While Caroline and Will wasted no time playing in the sand, Rob started snorkeling.  I should mention here that the water temperature could not have been more thank 65 degrees.  It was frigid! But you'd never know it by the way Rob went right in and got to work!

The next day, Monday, we headed out bright and early to the beach.  We had a blast playing, sunbathing, and kite flying.  I set up a canopy/tent and lathered the kids down with SPF 50, but still they got a little too much sun.  Actually, I did, too.  Oops.

Rob and his new buddy also named William flew a kite for a long time.  Sadly they accidentally let go and the wind took it straight into the powerlines across the street.  Bye bye kite!

So on Tuesday morning, we skipped the beach for a few hours and headed to the Gulf Coast Zoo.

We love to go to a zoo, watch the animals play, explore their habitats, etc.  But this zoo is, well, it's a little on the small-side.  It's almost like the little-zoo-that-could.  The majority of the time we spent feeding deer, goats, and a donkey.  Yep, there's a donkey.

When we got back to the condo Will took a nap and the rest of us went to explore the Lagoon.  That quickly gave us the idea that we could play and splash around in its warm shallow waters much more comfortably than the freezing gulf.  (Well, I should say Caroline and I played.  Rob wanted no part of the lagoon...at first) That's when we discovered that the lagoon is home to 1000's of hermit crabs.  We even saw one hermit crab that appeared to have been someone's discarded souvenir pet crab! We ended up going back to the lagoon a couple more times this week.  We even got Rob in on the action.  He, too, was fascinated by all of the crabs and set up a crab race!

We ate out several times, and I have to brag on my children's behavior.  They were so wonderful -- not perfect, but well above expectations for over sunned, under rested young people.  In fact, they were so good, that the last evening they warranted some reward-style fun activities.  First up...go carts!

After we left "The Track" we thought we would try Lulu's for dinner, knowing there would be a lot of entertainment for the kids while we waited for a table.  Let me fast forward and say we never did eat at Lulu's because the wait was 2+ hours.  Anyway, while we attempted the wait, naively thinking it would not be quite as long as the quoted time, Rob got a wild hair and wanted to do this:

image source

It's this climbing obstacle course on which you are harnessed and attached to a guide track overhead. There are several different paths to take, all of which involve narrow balance beams, wooden ladders, tight ropes, and a plank at the very top -- three stories high.

Funny story:  Rob was harnessed in and climbed the staircase to the first level.  He crossed his first wooden bridge to a platform, looked around, and started heading back to the staircase.  From the ground mom and I called out to him "Where are you going now?"  He looked at us with a "duh" expression and said "I'm coming back down!"  I was partly heartbroken for him and partly relieved that he sensed his life was in danger (it wasn't, actually).  Somehow, though, he stood there for a moment and you could see this determination cross his mind.  He turned back, and ended up scaling all three levels.  He was on the course for well over an hour!  (There is no time limit).  I was so proud of him for conquering his fear!

That, friends, is my firstborn walking the plank!

We came home on Thursday.  It was a short trip, but just what we needed to finish this spring strong!  Next up is Easter and then summer!  We have no less than 2 more beach trips planned.  Can you believe it?  I'm so excited.  It's safe to say the beach is my "happy place" and I am so thankfully blessed to have the opportunity to instill this love into my kids.  

Until next time, here is what happy looks like:

Stay sunny, friends!

An Open Letter To Taylor Swift Whom My Daughter Loves

Dear Taylor,

Thank you so much for being you.  Seriously.  I used to consider myself a super-fan.  But then I heard all these wonderful stories of your real super-fans and I think I may have been knocked down a few notches.  I still considered myself a very devout fan.  But then my daughter Caroline discovered you. And now, in Caroline's eyes, I'm not even worthy of singing along to your catchy lyrics.  

We actually had our picture made with you, Taylor, but I can no longer find it.  I could kick myself if I were still that flexible!  So this will have to do.

Taylor, I forgive you if you don't exactly remember me, but we met once.  It was on September 11, 2009 in Birmingham, AL during your Fearless tour.  Thanks to a great country radio station and some once-in-a-lifetime luck, I won VIP tickets with a backstage meet and greet.  Together with three other lucky friends this group of four lovely women (pictured above) patiently stood in line until you gave us your undivided attention and posed for a photo opp.  I shared with you how one of my favorite songs at the time was "Breathe" and that the baby growing in my big ol' belly would kick and move around while I sang the melody in my car.  We joked about how she was really trying to get me to just shut up already.  And for a brief moment you rubbed my round tummy.  That's right.  I met you backstage and then sat on the third row of your concert while 6-and-a-half months pregnant with my daughter Caroline.  

Over the next five years I have grown convinced that you infused tiny bits of yourself into my unborn daughter's spirit, and I cannot thank you enough.  She is such a challenging child to raise and I cannot thank you enough.  She makes me strive to be a better parent for her and I cannot thank you enough for so proudly and seemingly fearlessly being you.  

Concert photos (c) Laura Chancellor...my sister-in-law who took these from our awesome seats!

Let's start with the handful of chart-topping, record-breaking albums you have penned and performed. More than once you have been criticized for only writing about one or two of the same subjects using different versions of the same story.  I don't see it that way.  Rather, I view you as someone who believes in herself so much that she is not afraid to tell the truth.  You seem to be someone who has nothing to hide and believes closeted skeletons serve no positive purpose.  Your five studio albums cover your coming of age.  You chose not to sing other people's stories; no, you strove to make your voice heard and get your emotions off your chest.  I see these qualities in my five-year-old daughter already.  When she is recapping her day; when she is listing the names of her friends, boyfriends, favorite toys; when she is rattling off her Christmas wishes, her eyes fill with delight.  She loves nothing more than to be heard.  As her mother, I want to make sure she values truth and honesty, but I would never, ever try to silence her.  

(c) Laura Chancellor

Taylor, your fashion choices, for the most part, have been spot on!  So many of your colleagues in this pop-country music industry have bought into the sex-sells notion of leaving very little to the imagination.  But not you.  You know how to dress yourself for your body style.  You always seem to look appropriate for the occasion whether it be the CMAs, Grammys, or a walk down a New York avenue.  In the past year or two, your hemlines have shortened but I fault you not. I thank you so much for showing her that too much skin is not always in.  A young woman can still feel sexy, gorgeous, desirable and modest all at once.  At five years old, my daughter has yet to succumb to peer pressure from her preschool friends regarding bows, shoes, etc.  She definitely already makes her own wardrobe choices (when I allow) and [It should be noted that five is generally on the young-end of peer pressure.]  Nevertheless, if she is going to imitate someone's outfit, I'd much rather it be yours than, say, foam fingers and nude leotards. So again I commend you for being an example my daughter can emulate.  

(c) Laura Chancellor

I would wager a bet that you are hounded by paparazzi.  If one had the means and motive, we could probably piece together entire weeks of your life caught on camera.  So where are the images of you stumbling home from a bar?  Where are your mug shots?  Where are the clips of you dog-cussing a photographer?  Do I think you drink alcohol?  Well you admitted to Barbara Walters that you do.  But in the public eye you conduct yourself like a polite young lady.  Does that make you a poser?  No way!  It makes me proud to point out your magazine images to my daughter who watches your every move.  Recently Caroline said in a sullen voice "Taylor Swift said a bad word, mommy," referring to the line in "Wildest Dreams" where you sing "He's so tall and handsome as Hell."  You know what?  I am glad that I am raising a daughter who is morally conscious enough to know that she's not allowed to say "Hell" in that context.  You're a 24-year-old woman; if you want to describe someone that way, go ahead.  I give you a pass.  After all, you're only human.  And recently you provided a great teachable moment for me to have in carpool line. 

Let's talk about Mr. Handsome.  No, I don't think you go on to many dates or stay out too late.  How else are you going to find Romeo?  How else are he and you going to have "Our (Your) Song"?  When it is convenient for you - and you have mentioned right now is not the time - I am glad that you continue to take risks and allow yourself to fall in love.  Loving a person and being loved in return is a beautiful thing.  Heartbreak, too, teaches a person a lot about herself.  

(c) Laura Chancellor

You strike me as someone who knows herself very well.  You come across as very comfortable in your own skin.  Thank you for being true to yourself and encouraging the same of your fans.  Thank you for being vigilant in your pursuit of best friends, best years, best love.  Thank you for showing your legions of fans that creativity does not equate to oddness.  That you can think outside the box all the while staying in line.  That nice girls don't always finish last.  

My ticket is signed "Emily, good luck with the baby! Taylor Swift" - I keep it in Caroline's baby book.

And finally, thank you, Taylor, for rubbing my belly five years ago and making me believe that some of your uniqueness was infused into my daughter.  While my logical self knows that Caroline's spirit was God-given, not Swift-given, thank you for turning out (so far) the way you did.  You inspire me as a mother to not give up. She's hard-headed.  She's loud.  She walks to her own beat.  She's fierce.  She's funny.  She's imaginative.  She's brave.  She's fearless.  I would believe a young Pennsylvanian Taylor to be described the same way.

I Work From Home And...

 

For the past five years I have been a work from home mom, and it's damaging my relationship with my kids. 

Pay close attention to the word "from" if you will.  I am not a work-at-home mom, I am a work-from-home mom. Work-at-home moms prevent the laundry from ever piling up, make three-course dinners, do Pinterest-worthy arts and crafts with their Laura-Ashley-clad children, and take day trips to the local zoo. Or at least that's what I imagine they do. 

Work-from-home moms are trying to earn a paycheck. We often are required to turn in spreadsheets, activity reports, sales quotas, and/or participate in conference calls all the while Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is playing a little too loudly in the background.  Seriously, why does Mickey and the gang rely so heavily on Tootles? Can't they ever be prepared to face the task at hand? See what I did there? I even resent my children's cartoons because they play on the television all day long. While I'm trying to work!

Usually I can find around three uninterrupted, child-free hours to power through and be productive. My oldest son is in elementary school, my daughter is in preschool and the baby son goes to an at home (not my home) daycare.  But anytime an extraneous circumstance puts one or more of the kids with me all day, all Hell tends to break loose.  Like bleach drizzled into a laundry load of darks, this frustration is surely to leave a permanent scar on my kids' memories.  I fear the worst, people.

Let's talk damage, shall we? First and foremost I tend to resent my kids. I'm so envious of people who get to leave the house and go to work. People like, say, my husband.  For eight hours nobody wants to be held.  For eight hours nobody needs a diaper change.  When my kids are hungry, I don't care...didn't we just eat breakfast?  I promise not to let you starve to death, sweet child, but if you use the word "snack" one more time I'm going to lose it!  Oh, and it never fails...I will get everyone still and occupied, sit down at the desk, and then hear the tell-tale grunts from the little guy filling up his diaper. He's just gonna have to sit in it.  Oh, he stinks and he's sitting right at my feet.  Might as well change him because I'm sure as heck not going to be able to concentrate.  

Now, if there is a school production, special parent's lunch, class party, etc. I am always expected to be there.  It's not like I have to ask off work, right? But you can bet I have only halfway dressed, no makeup, and if you ask me to bring something it's going to be store bought, got it?  I don't want to be that mom.  It goes against who I am inside.  I love to bake, get dressed up, and smell good.  Call me vain; I can take it.  I like pleasing people with my domestic skills.  It's just that I had two precious quiet hours on said morning and I'm sure as heck not going to spend them at the oven.  Or the makeup mirror.  This is as good as it gets.  

I have lost the concept of quality time.  My kids deserve a mom who will sit on the floor and play with them.  Build wooden block towers with them.  Dress their Barbies.  But my first, damaging, instinct is to believe "I've been around you all day.  Isn't that enough?" 

Did I mention that my mother and I work together? In fact most days we work from her home.  This means that when my children are with me, but allowing me to get some work done it's usually because they're requiring that my coworker/supervising manager a.k.a. their grandmother play with them. So being a work-from-home grandmother is damaging my mom's relationship with her grand kids as well. But that's her rant that she can choose to share with you another day.

Please don't misunderstand my true self. I am so cognitively blessed that I can work from home.  I get to attend the parties, school plays, lunch dates, etc.  I get to cuddle my children when they are sick and not worry about how many sick days I'm burning.  I get to wear my PJ's to work when some child had a terror-filled night of bad dreams and it meant no sleep for me either. And somehow I still draw a paycheck.  

I just fear that I'm doing it all wrong. The right-side of my brain ponders how much bigger that paycheck could be if I worked this job from rented office space.  Or from behind a closed door.  The left-side of my brain fears that my employing company would rather have a non-mommy represent their goods. Which translates to I'll be fired in 18-months and then I'll be a work-at-home mommy and my kids' scars will be erased.  Then there's the unidentified part of me who loves what I do.  The only change I want to see is an internal improvement on the age-old-struggle: how do we as moms and women breaking the glass ceiling manage to "have it all"?

So the struggle is real and there is only one thing I know as an absolute: this year will be the year that I take it one day at a time.  I will try to be more present in my children's lives.  I will try to have unplugged moments outside of "working hours".  I will work harder when I work and play harder when I play.  The Mr. and I have already talked about how much we love being together, yet we really need to start including the kids in our time more often. They deserve to grow up in a family setting; i.e. they need to feel included and valued and heard.  

In the meantime, if you have any advice or anecdotes of what works for you and what doesn't work for you, hit me up in the comments.