Tuesday, October 4, 2011

31 Days Of Change :: Day 4 Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Lose

When I decided to start a blog series this month and chose its topic of strengthening a marriage and eventually solidifying a home, I knew that this month would also have a very special significance.  Today, October 4th, is my wedding anniversary!

Eight years ago today, I woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning, started my day with a hair appointment, then went to the mall (donning a small tiara) to have make-up applied.  Next I headed over to my church and married the man of my dreams.  The wedding was at 3:00 PM, then we went to a local country club where we had a wonderful reception complete with a band, food, cake, dancing, and college football being played on TVs in the bar-area!  Hey, I don't know what we were thinking having a wedding on a Fall Saturday in the South, but I wouldn't change a thing about it!
That's the thing about marriage.  Bobby thought I was crazy, and he was against the date of our fall wedding from the get-go.  But he allowed it to happen without much arguing.  (The reason that had to be the date is no longer the point.)  He gave in.  Since I know he is reading this, I will preface the next statement with "I know there is room for improvement" but I give in, rarely occasionally sometimes, too.
Bobby gets to take a vacation every year with my step-dad during which they travel the country and go to a different MLB stadium.  I am never invited.  Baseball is not my favorite sport, anyway.  But still.  Over the years I have realized that he deserves that trip.  I no longer argue about it; instead, I rack up on St. Louis Cardinals PJ pants, Baltimore Orioles coffee mugs, NY Yankees foam #1 fingers, etc.
There are other examples of me not getting my way and Bobby would say there are plenty of examples of him not getting his way.  However, we both have times of victory, too.
If you want a solid marriage to work, you have to believe and always remember you will not win every fight.  You will not get to decide every forked path on your marriage journey.  Furthermore, if you resign yourself to let one go, you also give up the right to complain later or hold it over that person's head.  Burn your Book Of Blame immediately, because it is not a helpful possession.
Today I challenge you to let one go.  Give in to what you partner/spouse wants.  But there is one condition:  You cannot pout about it.  You are letting your spouse, partner, best friend, etc. have his/her way because you love that person and want to extend another opportunity of happiness for that person.  You will enjoy the process more than you think.

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