Saturday, October 8, 2011

31 Days of Change :: Day 8 -- Time to Date

Bobby and I have two beautiful children, neither of whom we can imagine life without.  It is one of life's best pleasures to see a relationship come full circle through childbearing.  That being said, Bobby and I leave the kids with grandparents and/or Aunts & Uncles.  Kind of Frequently.

We date each other.  Please don't get the wrong idea.  Sometimes we just sneak out of the house for fast food and a treasure hunting trip to the local thrift store.  Occaisionally the kids spend the night away from home so we can wake up with the sun and not little feet padding into our bedroom.  Either way, it is nice to have "me time" with my spouse. 

I know there may be some of you reading this who do not have the luxury of a babysitter or closely located relatives.  But you simply have to challenge yourselves to discover stolen hours. 

We took a parenting class at church recently.  We didn't learn much about how to improve our parenting skills, but that's okay because we did learn we are totally normal with our tendancies, fears, and beliefs.  One thing that stuck with me, though, was a story another couple shared.  She grew up in a home where her parents would sometimes go into their bedroom and close the door.  This is not a provocative story, nor is it a dangerous one.  I'm assuming the kids were secure in the home, doors locked, sharp objects hidden, etc.  When the parents stole away for some "we time" the kids knew they must be 'bleedin' or 'dyin' before they were to knock on that door and desturb the parents.

So best case scenario is date night.  You may absolutely love your family.  Perhaps you secretly wish you were Jon and Kate Plus 8.  But those 8 kids will wear you out unless you can take a break and remember what it is about your partner that drew him to you in the first place.  If you want to be a united front, you have to continue to unite.  Go see a movie, go to dinner, or go people watch at Wal-Mart.  The point is it's just you two.

If you can't tear yourself away from the house, you must find time to yourselves.  If your kids are young and it's not safe to leave them unattended while awake, then you could commit to having a few minutes of alone time after they go to bed.  In the Morris house, as soon as the kids are asleep, we close our eyes, too.  Because we can.  But if our situation were different, that would be a great time to turn off the TV, put down the cell phones, and just talk.  Call it a stay-home-date.

The important thing is this: do you want to be reminded of why you chose this partner?  Remind yourself.

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